Real Me Versus the Virtual Me – How Much Should I Share Online?

Imagine turning to that person that you have sat opposite every morning on the train to work and gushing out intimate details of last nights’ passionate encounter. Of course (although it may give them a pretty entertaining journey) this scenario seems completely absurd. So why are we all so ready to form intense relationships and bonds online?

The usual hangups that people possess in normal life are abolished online, and basically anything goes. Feeling kinky? Well just go to a sex chat room and discuss fantasies that you may not have even revealed to your closest friends or partners. Looking for love? Well why not discuss with a stranger you just met on Match.com that you believe you are single due to your childhood hangups that still haunt your dating life?

With the guard of your computer screen and shield of your keyboard, how do you know when you are letting a total stranger too much into your life? Is it healthy?

In terms of your emotions and personal life, how much you choose to reveal depends a lot on how you feel, and whether you sense a rapport with a certain person. There is definitely more than just the love of God as to why Catholics like to offload their secrets and issues at the confessions box. It is a place where people can talk about their innermost thoughts without any consequences. Chatting with someone online can enable people to do the same thing. Talking to a person that has no personal connection to you or anyone in your life can be liberating and refreshing.

In my experience I find that opening up about yourself is really important if you want to meet like minded people online. As it is much easier to do than in real life, I have found myself having some really profound and heartfelt conversations pretty fast. I talk openly about my family and friends, however before meeting people in person, I make sure to change their names. This makes me feel extra secure, as despite the fact that I may feel that I am connecting with someone online, I cannot be totally sure of who they are until we physically meet.

Also remember that online dating is not that different to real life dating, and that sharing your heaviest details and issues at the beginning could scare someone off. Get to know a person at first in a chatty and flirty way before deciding whether they are even worth telling your business to!

As for your online dating profile, be real and honest and try and reveal your ‘true self’. This will help you to attract the kind of people that you will actually be interested in. If you are looking for a relationship then say it! Also don’t make too many changes to your profile, as people who look through it regularly may get suspicious as to who you really are.

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