Why Won’t You Date A Single Mom?

The following is a guest post by H, a single mom.

What is it with men not wanting to date single moms? Do you think I am looking for a baby daddy and hoping that after date 1.5 you can move in with us and start watching my kid so I can go have drinks with the girls? Do you assume I have some serious baggage and my kid is a delinquent? Prior to becoming a single parent, I may have made some similar assumptions myself, so I can empathize with your fears. At the same time, allow me to clear up some of the misconceptions you may have about dating a single parent, more specifically a single mom, since I happen to be one (and let me just put it out there that I am single and I am a catch).

Due to the fact that I am responsible for another human being I don’t have time to stalk you. Better yet, I don’t have time to be clingy and needy. However, this also means that I don’t have time to date a clingy or needy guy (which ironically seems to be the men I attract).

You can assume I am responsible, that I have my own place, my own car and I am semi-organized because I am a single parent. I do not get attached easily and I am not looking for a “baby daddy” to move in with me anytime soon.

I am fun, adventurous and educated, because I want the best for my child so I have to be the best person I can be. So you can be assured that the time I do spend with you will be well spent. I also have no issues with my ex-husband like you may assume. I will tell you in advance he is kinda stupid, but we are divorced and that drama got left behind 2 years ago. I look at it as a really educational experience which I learned a lot from and I am better for it.

You can assume I know what I am looking for in a man. That means there will be no games–I will tell you one way or another if it is not right, so that neither of us wastes our time.

Now, you may be wondering if I will have any time to spend with you since I have a child. They have these things called babysitters and they are an amazing resource—just don’t expect me to pay a hundred dollars a week in babysitting fees so we can cuddle on your couch. I will, however, give you my Monday and Tuesday evenings when my child visits his father and the occasional weekend out.

All in all I would recommend dating a single parent. You get an educated, cling-free, mature woman, and who doesn’t want that? Are there any other myths out there? Leave a comment, and I’ll be happy to clear them up for you!

-H

Comments

  1. First of all, I’m sorry to hear you’re having trouble with online dating.

    I personally don’t tend to go for that because

    A. I am relatively new to dating. I hadn’t had a girlfriend till this year (I’m 22). Honestly, I don’t think I can relate to a woman who has already had all that and more. I just am not ready to try and relate to that yet.

    B. I don’t like kids under around seven and even then they can annoy me. Yeah I was a little kid once. I was also a communist once, but that doesn’t mean I stick around for their garbage.

    I’m sorry if this message comes across as harsh, but I’m really just trying to expose the mindset of how I feel about that. There are guys who like kids and will be able to relate to you. Just stay patient and you’ll be fine. Best wishes.

  2. First of all, today is National Single Parent’s Day so Yay for us!

    As with any two people, there are going to be things that one looks for in the other, and some people do not want to share the attention with a child. Or perhaps they don’t want the responsibility if the relationship were to progress to marriage.

    Personally, I’m just the opposite. I tend to only want to date single fathers. I’m very attracted to good fathers.. I love to see how they interact with their children. I’m not looking for them because I want a father to my own children (heck… they’re almost all grown at this point.) But I find that good single fathers understand the balance of dating and understand how we prioritize time with children.

    I don’t like dating men with no children because they often don’t seem to understand the feelings that only a parent can understand. This may be selfish of me to judge and in some cases “rule out” men who don’t have children… but I just enjoy a “family guy.” (Not to be confused with Peter on Family Guy… He’s not my type at all.)

    Of course, dating a single Dad does cause scheduling complications, and would cause “blended family” issues if it were ever to progress to marriage. Perhaps when my last kid is grown and out of the house, I’ll feel differently. But many of us do like to date people who are sharing similar life experiences, and that may be why some men prefer not to date single Moms, if they are not a single Dad themselves.

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