This isn’t Jeopardy

A few weeks ago I ventured out on another online date (courtesy of Match.com). This fellow was handsome, gainfully employed, and funny. He even met my more superficial requirements; ideal age, height and build. But about an hour into the date, I started to feel more like I was up for a job promotion than a second date with all the questions he kept asking me in rapid fire succession.

“Do you plan on living in this area long-term?”

“Would you ever move away from your family?”

“So is being a writer what you want to do for the rest of your life?”

“So what exactly are you looking for in a relationship?”

“What are your relationship dealbreakers?”

“How many kids do you want?”

“Would you donate your left kidney to me if mine fails?” (Just kidding on this last one, but I’m pretty sure he would’ve gotten to that question eventually, had I not cut the date short.)

And the truth is, these are legitimate questions that should most certainly be discussed before, for example, you pledge your “I Do’s” and “Til Death Do Us Parts” before God and your families. Are they necessarily the types of issues that need to be decided on a first date? Not in my book. Moving away from my family or leaving my chosen career path to raise children are weighty matters faced in long-term relationships, and as such, are most appropriately considered and addressed in that context.

So my online dating tip for today is to keep it light. If you feel a burning desire to ask a particular question that would determine whether or not you want a second date with me, then by all means, go ahead and ask. But once I begin to feel like a contestant on Jeopardy, you’ve probably already scared me off. Because I was never any good at Jeopardy.

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