10 Things That You Shouldn’t Say Online

Online dating is a forum for people to browse, chat, flirt and get to know each other. If you think that people are fickle in real life dating then I’ve got news for you. The online dating game is ten times more conceited. With no physical chemistry or any personal connection to you, many people will be quick to dismiss you if you make one wrong comment.

Without being able to use facial expressions or body language, what you type is critical to giving off the right impression. Remember that things that may come out humorous or sexy in real life, can sound stupid and sleazy through chat messenger or email. So here are the 10 things that you should never say to someone that you are trying to get to know online……

1. Past relationships: Refrain from moaning about your past relationships unless the other person asks. No one wants to hear about the restless nights you spent worrying if your husband was having an affair or how dreadful your breakup was. The beginning of online dating chats should be light and fun.

2. Racist, sexist or homophobic jokes: However funny you may find these jokes, the majority of people will interpret these types of humor as you being a complete fool!

3. Hiding important factors of your life: Not showing someone what you look like or lying about your job or lifestyle is the worst way that you can start online dating. With no proof that you are who you say you are, trust is a huge factor of what makes the most successful online relationships work. You wouldn’t like someone to deceive you so why would you deceive them?

4. Making assumptions: Remember that the people that you are speaking to do not know you, so they cannot necessarily understand your personality simply by what you write.

5. Talking about yourself too much: Make sure that you ask questions and show interest in the other person. If you talk too much about yourself without them asking then you will appear to be self involved and conceited.

6. Prying: Yes I know I just said that you should ask questions, but there is a fine line between being inquisitive and being down right nosy. Refrain from asking personal questions until you actually know the person and have gained their trust.

7. Being sexually explicit: If you are looking for a relationship online then the worst thing that you can do is to send photos of yourself naked or make sexual innuendos. Any self respecting dater will think that you are dirty and run a mile.

8. Not having a photo: You will not get hardly any responses if you don’t have a photo. Everyone wants to see who they are talking to.

9. Say you are have feelings for them straight away: It will appear insincere or just weird. Even if you are having a nice chat with a new person online, none will believe that you are becoming emotionally attached right away.

10. Writing in text message format: Writing hlo, bff and hw r u’s is just going to make you look immature and unintelligent. Show yourself as similar to how you would speak in real life.

Keep these 10 things that you shouldn’t say in mind, and start dating online. There are a lot of free online dating site, such as Plenty of Fish for you to try out. There are also some very reliable paid dating sites to go with, such as eHarmony and Match.com!


  1. #7 rather depends on the site … a number of “hook up” sites out there look more like an old Playboy magazine without the glamor. Everything else you say is commonsense but how people interact online depends on the age group. One thing I always like about PoF was the forums where like minded folk can share common interests. Being a bit of a poet no surprise where I spent most of my time.

  2. I have to completely agree with your post. It is all common sense. Your second paragraph underscores perfectly, why online dating isn’t at all ideal. The 3 times I was foolhardy enough to try an online dating service, I was adamant about it only being an icebreaker of sorts. Just to make the initial contact. Then meet somewhere public for a coffee or soda. Then you can read body language, voice colors and so forth, then take it from there. Now this seemed to be more of a woman thing, but they would insist instead, on communicating via email or IM’s for weeks and weeks. “To get to know each other”. It rarely, if ever works, at least not for me anyways… It’s just plain unnatural. I suppose an online dating site could be a useful tool. But never use a tool for a job it was never intended for…

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