It’s a Small World After All

During a recent online date that was going so well it makes you forget all of the
disastrous dates in which you partook to get to this awesome one, my handsome, funny,
smart, and engaging date said something that left me momentarily stupefied.

“I don’t mean to embarrass you,” he began, ” But you winked at my brother after you and
I started emailing.”

While I expertly feigned a calm and collected lack of embarrassment in an effort
to mask my sheer horror at having winked at his brother – with whom he lives – I
calculated the likelihood of this unfortunate relative winking collision in my hometown.

I mean, I live in a big city; not New York City big, but it’s no Smallville or Stars Hollow
here either. And it’s not like I go around winking at every online profile I see; I’m a
highly selective winker and confine my winking to only the most promising profiles I
peruse, equaling a total winkage of fewer than one wink per week, or three winks per

And were I actually a serial winker, I could have prepared for this familial winking spree
with a clever comeback for my dazzling date, such as “Well, if your brother’s anywhere
near as good-looking as you are, I would have been remiss not to wink at him.”

But instead, I could only wonder if there’s some sort of online dating family plan
now… Sign up your siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, and parents now and you’ll
receive a 20% discount on your membership fee! Sign up your elderly grandparents
and you’ll receive a full week free, plus 50% off your next purchase of Fixodent
denture adhesive! You can’t afford NOT to register your entire extended family!

Which brings me to today’s online dating tip: It’s a small world, and it gets smaller when you
date online. Go easy on the simultaneous contacts. It’s great to be proactive, but if
you’re overzealous, you may find you’re winking in the same social circles. (Or in my
case, the same family circles.)

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