Online Dating Profiles – So Let Me Tell You About Me

While most dating sites have spots for you to briefly discuss specific areas of interest, such as your job, religious views, and favorite hot spots, the meat of the profile is found in your “About Me” section. This is where you can share a summary of yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner. Here are a few online dating tips to improve your “About Me” section.

Know Thyself

In order to accurately convey what you’re wanting, you need to know what you want. Not what you should want, or what you used to want, but what you want right now. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my friends who are online dating is that “She isn’t who she said she was in her online dating profile!” I always point out to my friends that these less-than-accurate representations aren’t necessarily a deliberate deception but rather the likely product of the profile writer’s uncertainty about who she really is and what she really wants. Here’s an example. My online dating profile used to say that I was at the point in my life where I was looking for a long-term relationship, and that I therefore wanted to hear from people who were open to the same thing. With this as my manifesto of intent, I would go on a first date, and by date two Mr. Online was holding my hand and going in for a kiss! And as I narrowly dodged the lips of the guy I’d only just met four days prior, I couldn’t fathom how I’d given any indication this was what I wanted at the end of our second date.

But then I remembered: It’s in my profile. This guy liked me; I had a profile that stated I was at the point in my life that I was looking for something serious. What indication hadn’t I given that I wanted this? So I spent some time thinking about what I really wanted, and then I amended my online dating profile accordingly. What I wanted was to get to know these guys as friends, without the pressure or expectation of an insta-relationship, but with the hope that one of the friendships would grow into a long-term relationship. Because, for me, it’s always easier to speed things up than to slow them back down.

To recap, make sure you’re being upfront in your “About Me” section. That doesn’t mean you have to disclose everything (in fact, I strongly recommend against it), but it means that what you disclose should represent you as you are, not you as you hope to be seen by somebody else.

Nobody Likes Laundry

I bet you’ve read these types of online dating profiles: “I would like a girl with a professional career who can cook a good meal every night, who laughs at all of my jokes, who looks great in sweats and a t-shirt but also looks amazing dressed up for a night on the town. She can salsa dance, speak French proficiently, is always neat and organized, gives blood every Tuesday and Saturday, and enjoys going skiing, hiking, and hunting with me every weekend.” Having read that, I’m already exhausted, and I haven’t even started trying to learn French. Conveying the qualities you’re looking for in a partner is one thing; creating a laundry lists of must-dos and must-haves is another. Notwithstanding that these lists are unrealistic, they’re major turn-offs. If you’re not hearing back from the people you’re emailing online, review your “About Me” section to ensure it’s real, but not unrealistic.

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