Survival Tips For Your First Date

Do you find it easy to arrange a date online but have trouble making it past the first date? Creating a good first impression can be daunting, but once you master the ‘first impressionist’ art, you’ll find the first date a breeze. Better yet, you might even find it… Keep in mind these easy tips for breezing through your first date and paving the way for your second date and beyond!

Be interested. You’re an awesome person and you want your date to know it. But when you aim to impress, you spend more time thinking about what you want to say next than you spend absorbing what your date is actually saying. Be present for your date, and I’m not talking about just showing up (although, hey, showing up is a good start).

Maya Angelou said it best when she told us that “People forget what you say, they forget what you did, but they never forget how you made them feel.” If you really listen and show genuine interest, your date will remember having been made to feel truly heard long after you part ways.

Don’t argue. Be yourself, unless yourself is an argumentative fool who pounces on any opportunity to prove your opinions superior to all others. If that’s you, be somebody else. I recently had a guy quite vehemently debunk global warming as a scam for at least five minutes after my having firmly stated I wasn’t interested in arguing the point one way or the other. “If you want to believe WRONG,” he declared with a smirk when his monologue eventually began to wind down, “then that’s your problem.”

And if you’re still struggling to weigh the pros and cons of flaunting your expertly honed debating skills on a first date, keep in mind how well it has served one of my favorite comedians, Dave Barry, who wrote, “I can win any argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.”

Leave it open. Your date may be undecided, but if you declare your ardent desire to meet again, you may inadvertently reduce your chances. If you want to stack the deck in your favor, let your date know you had a good time and leave it at that. Then send an email in 2 – 4 days reiterating that you had a good time. “I really enjoyed meeting you last week!” [Insert statement here that references something you discussed or a joke you shared, whatever is applicable and will make him or her smile.]

If your date decides he or she is interested, he or she will reply. I’m not an advocate of playing games in relationships, but prior to the relationship, it’s called the “dating game” for a reason. How you play your cards now influences whether you’ll make that successful first impression.

And don’t forget that even a flawless first impression won’t create chemistry that’s just not there. So don’t be hard on yourself if, having implemented these tips, you hit some dead-ends that don’t merge into a second date. We’ve all been there. So good luck!

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